Chinese Aliexpress is full of curiosities that you won’t find in Western online stores, but here’s something we haven’t expected: an artificial hymen. That’s right – jsut put it in the right place to get back the virginity again. It’s easy to use, inexpensive and reliable – and it looks like it’s silently popular in US and Europe too. It doesn’t hurt anyone, so it’s a good thing right? Maybe except their poor boyfriends and husbands that are tricked into believing that she’s so innocent it’s the first time for her.
You can even find two pieces in the box – useful when you have to use this trick again on yet another poor boyfriend.
The kind Chinese seller even posted a quite precise manual for the device, as usually written in broken Chinglish, that’s easy to understand though. Here’s what you should do to let your boyfriend think you’re intact (original spelling and grammar):
“How it works”
“Insert the Artificial Hymen into your vagina carefully. It will quickly tighten your vagina in few minutes . When your lover penetrates, it will ooze out a liquid that appears like blood, not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans and you will pass through undetectable!
Step 1: remove bag, Crumpled it and put it into the vagina about 5 cm, about the location of the middle finger of the second joint.
Step 2: keep it inside for at least 20 minutes, but not more than 60 minutes , you can have sex next.
Step 3: sex, pretending to be shy, avoid foreplay. Can’t let his fingers into your vagina, and asked him to turn off the lights.
Step 4: wash your vagina after sex in 24 hours.
Note: do not use if you have serious gynecopathy mind. (WTF does it even mean?)
My store has products for vaginal tightening, use them to get a better effect (?). “
But who’s buying this?
This ingenious device has been sold in hundreds and is available for $28 with free shipping worldwide. You might think it would sell mainly in South Asian and African countries, where a woman can be beaten up for not keeping her virginity intact. In fact, it’s completely different. This artificial hymen sells best in first world countires like US, France or Netherlands. And women are boasting their cleverness and satisfaction with the product – like in this juicy comment from cunning girlfriend:
Very fast delivery. Used this on my bf and he definitely believe he was my first one.
So it looks like the value of marital purity is universal, and judging from buyers from around the world – from Japan to Canada and the US, the demand is large, on every latitude as not many men want “this promiscuous thot”. And one thing is certain: the next time a girl whispers into your ear, “This is my first time, be gentle”, just check her Aliexpress transaction history first.